Infertility: Staying Supportive of Each Other Through It All
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
– Mary Anne Radmacher
Couples struggling with infertility not only have to deal with the stress of doctor appointments, procedures, and worst of all – timed intercourse, but are also subject to an emotional battle as well. All of this will cause serious stress to the individual, but can also wreak havoc on a marriage. However, this is a time when having each other to lean on is the most important. The tips below offer insight on how to deal with the stress of infertility and how to support each other when it’s needed the most.
Communicate. One of the most important things you can do as a couple is keep the lines of communication open. The challenge here is that you need to LISTEN to what each other is saying. When one of you speaks, the other needs to remain quiet and focused on the conversation. This is how you both will have a true understanding of each other’s feelings.
Counseling. Always remember that there is no shame in asking for help, and with counseling you have a safe space in which to communicate. Counselors are especially great at guiding couples through healthy communication skills - a great way to work through the individual stresses of infertility. Do your research because many counselors specialize in infertility counseling.
Be honest. Being honest with each other is so important as you face the challenge of infertility. Always let one another know how you are feeling and don’t sugar coat anything. There’s no need for that as you’re both in this together. At the same time, try your hardest to not be judgmental of each other. Acknowledge that each of you has a right to feel the way you feel.
Stop the negativity. Do your best to let go of all the negative thoughts and feelings that are a result of your infertility struggle. Negativity breeds negativity, and can only make the situation worse. No one is saying you must be Mr. and Mrs. Positive, but just remember that your situation is temporary and “This too shall pass.” Take one day at a time, and shift your perspective to something more positive. Go for a walk, do something you love, see a friend, or just simply treat yourself. It will make a world of difference in how you view your current situation and will make for a much happier situation at home.
Don’t forget to be affectionate. Between timed intercourse and a world of stress, it’s no surprise that a simple form of affection can be forgotten. Take a moment to share some affection with your spouse whether this means a simple hug, holding hands, a massage, or spontaneous sex (not timed!). Touching will make you reconnect, and research has shown it’s a powerful source of healing.
If you and your spouse have been having problems conceiving and would like to schedule a consultation with one of our top physicians at one of our Orlando fertility clinics, please call us today at 800-343-6331.